Scumbag
by FluffyShrekGirl
Summary: A depressing songfic about Matt and Tai NOT a Taito set to Green Day's 'Scumbag'. Rated for one strong swearword ONLY no adult content.


Scumbag

DISCLAIMER: I don't own digimon, or any of the characters, and I don't own the Green Day song Scumbag. I apologise if any of the lyrics are a little off. Also, the blue Ford Anglia is the property of J. K. Rowling OK, this is a random one, but something that I just felt like writing – it's not really a particularly happy fic, but it struck me while I was listening to the song. It's a bit nasty to the two characters involved, but I'm not doing it because I don't like the characters at all, I just wanted to write this. I'm a Taiora fan, but this is very Sorato. Tai just seems a more tragic character than Matt. Oh - and please forgive the numbers. It's to try and split the two points of view up a little - I couldn't space them out any more.

Tai Kamiya sat slumped in his armchair, a bottle of beer in one hand in danger of slipping from his grasp and falling to empty its contents on the filthy carpet below. In front of him the TV blared, but although dimly aware of its presence he wasn't watching it.

_You come around every now and then_

A beam of light flashing through his windows startled him, and he jerked upright. Beer sloshed from the bottle to the floor, but he barely noticed it. Still clutching the bottle neck tightly, he wandered cautiously over to the window of his house and peered out into the gloom.

The house was big – massive even. Tai had done all right for himself. But no-one ever visited the house, and even if they did, all they would find was squalor. The once grand home had gradually become almost a slum, as Tai came home every night from his high-profile lawyer's job and slumped in front of the TV with a drink. The house was never cleaned, never tidied, and gradually its beauty had degenerated into the home of a broken man.

Tai himself was not a pretty picture. Still in the same clothes he had on when he got home, he was no longer the smart intellect he had been just a few hours ago, but was scruffy, rumpled, his hair a mess from being crushed in the armchair, his shirt hanging half-in, half-out, a beer mark on the leg of his pants…

He focused on the blue car at the end of his road, a tiny Ford Anglia that was trying to hide in the shadows. That car had been driving up here every night for the past week, and it was beginning to bother Tai. Not necessarily unnerving, but still…

2

The man in the car hunched over his steering wheel and swallowed hard. Sucking in his breath, he glanced back at the house he had passed again. Tai Kamiya's house, the house he had passed every night for seven days… the house he was afraid to enter.

He ran a hand distractedly through his blond hair, and glanced at himself in the rearview mirror.

Even with his wide, panicked eyes and the little beads of sweat that were beginning to form on his forehead, an onlooker would have said he was handsome. Dressed smartly in a blue checked shirt and jeans, he was the epitome of cool, as always. But fear lingered in his bright blue eyes.

He was afraid to go up to the house. Every night he had meant to go in…and every night his courage had failed him. Well, not this time. Making a quick decision, he reversed back up the road, and parked up right outside the house. Getting quickly out of the car, he strode directly up to the front door, and raised his hand to knock.

2

Tai couldn't believe it. It was _him_. First he felt a rush of affection and gladness, which was quickly crushed by an undeniable hatred that welled up inside him. How dare he. How dare he just walk up to his front door like that, as though he would be _welcome_. Tai stalked to the front door and pulled it open.

The man on the doorstep froze in the very act of knocking, then lowered his hand and smiled weakly. "Hey, Tai."

Tai answered in a flat monotone. "Hello, Matt."

_Your clothes are different but you're still the same_

Matt looked different, to say the least. Smarter, more business-like. But Tai knew he would still be the same person inside, otherwise why else would he show up here?

_Why else would you come here?_

"Why are you here, Matt?" Tai asked emotionlessly, staring directly into the blond's eyes. He didn't invite him in.

"Um," Matt said awkwardly, scuffing the floor with his shoe. For a second he looked like a nervous kid again. Then he seemed to get control of himself again. "Tai, can I come in? There's something… something I need to say."

_Scumbag on a mission_

Tai just looked at him. Matt thought – almost knew – he was going to refuse, but then Tai surprised him by saying, still in that same dull voice. "Yeah, I guess."

He stood aside to allow Matt to enter.

Matt wandered slowly into Tai's lounge. Ever the perfectionist, his keen eyes took in the countless stains on the carpet, the patch of beer by the armchair which was obviously recent although no-one had bothered to try and clean it… he turned, and for the first time that night his nerves fell away and he saw Tai clearly.

The guy was a wreck. His hair was messy and out of place, he clutched a beer bottle in his hand and he stank of alcohol… and judging by his house, he wasn't exactly perfect mentally either. Matt assessed it quickly, and decided on chronic depression and probably alcoholism. A wave of guilt washed over him as the thought occurred that this could be his doing.

Tai followed Matt in his living room. He watched as Matt surveyed his home, and was uncomfortably aware for the first time in months of how horribly dirty it was… and he was. He smoothed his shirt and hair, scrubbed in vain at the mark on his leg and was just setting down the bottle on the window ledge when Matt turned to him.

Matt turned to look at Tai, and instantly noticed that Tai was more presentable. Was that some kind of sign, a sign that his opinion was perhaps not as worthless as he had thought? A hope rose within him, and he addressed Tai.

"It's been a while," Matt remarked softly to him, and Tai nearly laughed. He hadn't seen this man in five years, and all he could say was 'It's been a while'?

But he didn't laugh. He said simply, "Yeah," and dropped into his armchair. Matt stayed standing, almost as if he knew he shouldn't be here.

"So…," Matt began again cautiously. "Hear you're a hotshot lawyer."

Tai snorted. "Yup. How's your life, Matt? How's… your family?"

He hesitated before this last.

"They're fine, Tai. She's fine."

"I didn't ask."

"I know."

Matt grinned cautiously, and murmured, "I know you want to know, though. I'm not trying… to rub your face in it, or anything. But I know… you want to know."

"Yeah, but not from you."

_You're telling me it's been a while_

_Shit-eating grin and a brand-new life_

Matt sighed. That had come out all wrong. "Tai. That's why I came here. To talk about her. To talk about Sora."

Tai flinched, as if her very name hurt.

There he went again, messing things up, insisting on dragging the past back up… Tai wasn't ready. He would never have admitted that, but he knew he did not want to discuss Sora and Matt.

"Who told you where I lived?" he asked, almost wearily. "I didn't know anyone knew or cared any more."

"Izzy."

"Ah. Well, he would know."

For a second they smiled at one another, sharing the joke. Then Tai's gaze dropped to the floor again. Matt pressed on, encouraged.

"He said you wouldn't mind if I came."

2

Actually, what Izzy had said was, "You should go see Tai, Matt. Five years is too long for best friends to be apart."

"But we're not now, Izzy. Friends, I mean," he had replied, crossing his arms behind his head.

"You should be," Izzy said wisely.

And as Izzy had always been right and Matt knew he was right anyway, in his heart, he had come to visit Tai. He just wasn't expecting him to be so… cold. He had never thought of Tai as one to hold a grudge. Although having said that, it was a pretty big deal – to both of them.

2

_Somebody let you come here_

_Scumbag with permission_

Tai's scowl deepened. He would have to remind himself to yell at Izzy later. How could he think he wanted to see Matt? But then he sighed softly. This was getting ridiculous. Why was he angry with Izzy?

It was Matt he hated. Matt who had ruined his life.

"So, Matt," he murmured, so quietly he could almost have been talking to himself. "Why do you want to discuss that now? Why is now such a special time? Run out of friends or something?"

_Never thought I'd see the likes of you around this place_

_What's the special occasion?_

_Did you run out of friends?_

_Here you are coming round again_

_And things are different but you still pretend_

_You've got a reason to come here_

Matt was beginning to get angry with Tai, but he tried not to let it show. "The reason now is so special is because my situation has changed. I'm moving away. I wanted to talk to you before, but I didn't have the guts, and this is my last chance."

Tai sat up. "You're leaving?" It must be a big deal for Matt to admit he hadn't had the courage to talk to him.

"Yes. I'm going to America."

"_America_?"

"Yeah." Here he gave a wry smile. "I might see Mimi, huh?" Now he started to get excited, animated for the first time since he got to Tai's house, and Tai could tell that this was really important to Matt. "I have a huge business deal with my company. It's all about pollution, and the environment. Global warming, you know. If it goes well, we could change the world!"

_Scumbag with ambition_

Tai didn't know why, but he couldn't summon up the enthusiasm Matt had. "Wow. Yeah, great."

Matt lost his smile. "Gee, Tai, thanks a lot. I thought at least…" He sighed. "Never mind."

Tai felt his temper rising. So he wasn't interested in Matt's big plans. Big deal.

_And now you're telling me that things have changed_

_And you'll be leaving in a couple of days_

_You're gonna change the world someday_

_Scumbag with a vision_

"I guess your life is perfect, huh, Matt?" he spat.

Matt looked straight into his eyes, and Tai saw sadness and sorrow in Matt's own. "No, Tai. Not without my best friend. Never been totally perfect since…"

"Since you stole her from me."

"I didn't."

"Don't lie. It's nice to know your life is going great, and you've got it all figured out. But from my point of view, it's all the same. This - " He raised his arms, finally acknowledging the grime he was living in. " – all this; this is all I have. I have _no life _any more!"

Matt privately thought he also used alcohol, but felt it best not to comment at this stage. "What about your job?"

"I just lost it."

"Man, that's harsh."

"Yeah."

Mattspread his arms in supplication. "Please, Tai. I want to make peace with you before we go."

_It must be nice to know you got it all figured out_

_But from where I'm sitting_

_It's the same thing again and again _

Tai shook his head. "You never stop to think before you open that big mouth of yours, do you? 'We' again. I know you're married to Sora, and…" He paused, took a deep breath, and looked Matt full in the face.

_You never stop to think before you open up your mouth_

_Because every time you do_

Matt was horrified to see tears forming in Tai's eyes. Tai never cried. "And that's what's killing me, OK? That's why I can't be your friend." He scrubbed the back of his hand across his face, removing all traces of the tears. "Every time I think of you and her, it hurts a little more. Imagine how bad it would be if I saw you all the time."

Matt stepped forward. "Then… can't you just say you forgive me?"

"No, Matt. I can never do that. Because I never will. You stole the life I should have, and now I'm the one paying, not you. I can't forgive you, because for that I could never forgive myself."

Matt sighed, and then said quietly, "OK then." Tai thought he heard a catch in his voice. Looking up, he saw Matt slumped over, turning away and leaving.

He didn't stop staring at the doorway Matt had gone through until he heard his car drive away. Then he dropped his head again.

He caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye, glinting in the light next to the door. He recognised it – his one true friend.

Grabbing the beer bottle, he sat back down and took a long swig, finishing the contents, then flopped back into the chair as the alcohol took effect and his memory was a blur once more.

_It's the same thing again and again._


End file.
